David's Blog

Foreword

I randomly stumbled upon this movie on Tiktok, when someone uploaded a full unfiltered clip of a key moment in the movie. Thank goodness for Tiktok’s loose copyright laws haha. If you have seen the movie then you would know which scene I am referring to. It is considered the climax of the movie. I will talk more about that in the spoiler section of this review.

Premise:

Didi (meaning “younger brother” in Mandarin Chinese) is a 1 hour 30 min long movie about an immigrant family from Taiwan, now living in California in 2008. The main protagonist, Chris, often referred to as “Didi” by his mother, is an impressionable 13 year old who has spent his entire life trying to fit in. He lives the life of an immigrant child like me and many others. This movie expertly demonstrates the countless facets of a tween and his relationships with his friends who are evidently closer to each other than to him, his sister that he bickers with constantly but definitely cares about each other, and most importantly, with his mother, the highlight of the movie.

Spoiler Review:

This movie made me and my experience feel seen. As someone who has spent most of his formative years in Canada with my Chinese mother who practically raised me all by herself here while working to support us, I related so much with Didi. Of course, I was not as stubborn as he was nor was I the younger sibling, but many of his experiences still applied. The scene that immediately convinced me to watch the movie was the car argument scene with his mother. Despite being very young, Didi/Chris’s actor did a phenomenal job in conveying the frustration and anger of a tween with his acting. Many of us Gen Z/millennial Asian Americans/Canadians can relate to the generational and cultural difference that we often feel with our parents. We all know that they love us and want the best for us, but the barrier can be felt nevertheless. Just that scene alone had so many outstanding parts. 

Didi’s words “I’m sorry I’m not f**king Max. I’m sorry I’m not a f**king bragging rights to all your friends.” 

This line hurt. It hurt so much.

Because it was so relatable. Growing up as Asian Canadian, especially Chinese Canadian, we all know that one cousin/family friend/friend that we were always compared to. That person’s mere existence made us feel inferior and as if whatever we did, it wasn’t good enough. We could never get ourselves to hate them because it wasn’t their fault, so oftentimes our anger was directed at our parents.

I cried watching this scene, because it played out exactly like the conversations I had with my mother as an adult. This is the type of damage that Chinese parents don’t understand they are doing to their children, and I so, so, so wish I could’ve had that conversation with my mother at a younger age, because maybe I would not have lashed out at her so much. Having had my cathartic experience with my own mother, seeing Didi’s rage and anger was looking into a mirror of my younger self, and it makes me both want to root for him so badly, but also slap him silly for speaking to his mother this way. 

I have also said things I regret to my own mother. I have told her that she was a bad mother, and that I hated her. It is incredibly difficult for an easily impressionable teenager dealing with countless changes to resort to these strong words because they don’t know how to vocalize their feelings, and that was the case with Didi as well. In the movie, we see that he is a kid without much confidence because his interest never aligned with what his mother wanted for him, and was constantly being compared to. Even with his friends, they all did better socially than him, which undoubtedly planted some sort of inferiority complex in him, leaving him with massive self esteem issues. His mother and older sister have told him that he could always talk to them about his troubles, but I am sure we all know how hard it is to talk to your own family about not being cool enough for your friends, or girl problems. After all, what could they possibly do to help you? You might just end up with an earful of lecture anyways. 

Why even bother? They won’t ever understand.

These familiar thoughts were demonstrated very well in this movie. So well that it hurt and made me cringe.

What made this movie outstanding wasn’t just with Didi, but also the mother. As a 26 year old adult, I now understand the hardships my mother went through. I now understand that I was a piece of shit back then for talking to her that way. I appreciate her more than ever for not having given up on me at my worst.

But of course, that is motherhood. You don’t give up on your child no matter what they accuse you of doing. They will tell you they hate you and never want to see you again, but you will still try your best to ensure they will live a better life than the one you had. Because you love them unconditionally. 

Afterall, no one is born a perfect parent. 

Didi’s mother is evidently a kind-hearted full time housewife. She sacrificed her own life to dedicate herself to raising her son and daughter. She also dreams about what she could’ve become if she never had her kids and spent her full effort on her paintings. Her love is demonstrated through her words, reminding her children to put more effort in their studies, eat more fruits, and make good friends. All things that a child would consider “nagging”. It is unusual for Chinese (and Asian in general) families to hug regularly or say the words “I love you”, so at some point you start to wonder if your parents truly love you, or are you just a trophy for them to show off to their friends. 

Maybe Didi’s mother really wanted her children to succeed, so she could tell her friends about it. But who could blame her? She never got to live her own dreams. Having successful children is proof that she did not waste her own life. 

However, at the end of the movie, she also realized something I wish all Asian mothers would realize, it is better to have children who are happy and love you, than successful but miserable ones that end up resenting you.

Didi ran away from home for a night after snapping at his mother, and came back home and had an honest heart-to-heart with her. They shared a hug that reminded me of my own with my mother. It is a deeply important one. A crucial step towards mending two broken hearts.

There is so much more I could say about this movie if I wanted to go scene by scene, but I have said enough. The writing, direction, and acting were all superb. It perfectly captured the coming of age story of a tween and his complex relationships with himself and other people, maybe a little too perfectly. Puberty is an unforgiving force that makes you do things you regret and cringe when you look back on them, but they are an essential piece in the puzzle that is you. We are all just trying to find the pieces and figure out who we are.

Perhaps that is why the producer chose to make this film that is based on his own life growing up, to provide some perspectives that both adolescents and adults can relate to. It is hard being a parent, and even harder being a child, when you feel like the world is against you. It is no one’s fault.

Extremely excruciating watch.

Would 100% recommend it to others.

Would never watch it again.

10/10